IN ALL HONESTY, I MUST SAY THAT I REALLY DON'T LIKE COLLEGE. Honesty, I warned. Don't let that stop you from reading this though- Because by the time you get through the end of this blog, you will have a complete and dynamic understanding of why I LOVE BEING A COLLEGE STUDENT. Haha The whole "College life" is a little different for me, being that I'm considered a "little goody-two-shoes." Not that I care what people think of me, but here's MY definition of college- PURE EVIL BLOWING IN THE WIND!!!!! Not really. Its hard to really come up with a definition for something that I've always wanted yet always regretted, due to the simple thought of possibly failing.
WHERE I WAS-
So here I am, sitting in a Library, doing homework for 3 advanced college courses- Latin American Literature, Public Relations and a Sociology class about race and racism. I HATE LIBRARIES. Here's why this is significant- As a foster youth, foster parents LOVED the Library! It was a free babysitter! Whenever they wished to go someplace special, like Universal Studios with their OWN family and kids, they would drop me off at a Library all day. After school, I would be dropped off at the library in the middle of nowhere, and my foster parents would leave me there until it closed, then come and pick me up. Surprisingly, I did not learn a thing while I was there, except to hate libraries.
I was some scrawny little 14 year old with no parents and no life and no promise of a bright future and I hated reading because my birth-father always thought we were being lazy whenever we sat down and read a book. He always thought we should be cleaning instead- or watching the younger kids, or cooking or working for the neighbors...Anything BUT reading. Therefore I hated it. I hated the smell of dust that so unworthily shoved itself into my nostrils. I hated the fact that NO ONE talked. It got annoying to see people whispering or sometimes mumbling to themselves as they searched each aisle for their book of choice. I hated the fact that there was no food in the library, and no eating was allowed if I did have any food. There were no nearby stores- this library was located in the liddle of a field, so I had no escape. The library had computers that we had to pay to use, and I thought it wasn't worth a dime, because half of the social media websites that we use today were blocked off today, and their Internet was super slow. I hated the librarian who had no sense of fashion or the outside world whatsoever- she was always telling me to be quiet, and to stop running, and to put the books back in their exact spot after reading them. I never read any of the books there unless they dealt with fashion, magic tricks, origami or How to Draw books. I thought there was no point of having libraries except to sort out the weird people from the cool people in life, and to use all the chess-playing, Pokemon card-collecting, book-reading glasses-wearing nerds in school. BOY WAS I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!!!
MY JOURNEY-
Later on in life, as I attempted to avoid books and studying and lean more on social media, new electronic gadgets and the Internet for EVERYTHING, I somehow developed an interest in family history. I wanted to know about my ancestors and which side of the family I was most like. Being half black, half white and the tie-breaker of my entire family, I find it a bit humorous to say that half of my ancestors were slaves, the other half were slave owners. I wanted to find out if any of them were associated and to also find old journals of their life stories to see what they had to go through, and how they could POSSIBLY live without all the technology we have now! So I set out on a journey to find these answers, and a lot of them were in a Library.
I still avoided libraries after that, until one day after I graduated High School and became A COLLEGE STUDENT That was where my whole life changed. I had a preconceived notion that college was nothing but brainwash, but surprisingly, its much more than that!! College has taught me how to learn. That's something that I could not teach myself at all, regardless of how many hours I spent in a library or even on a computer! I always had the goal to do my homework once I got online- or once I got to the library, or once I got home from school or even on my break at work- but I always found EVERYTHING ELSE more interesting than my poor little wreathing pile of homework, confined within the depths of a backpack that was usually never opened; usually hidden under my bed or in my closet or sometimes left on the school bus- I simply just didn't care.
WHERE I AM NOW AND WHAT I'VE LEARNED-
As I finished my first and second year of college, things changed. I realized that no one cared who you were in High School. In college, everyone is there to learn and gain a greater understanding of life and how they could expand their horizons and what-not . No one cared that I was a model, or an actress, or even a former foster youth. I could not procrastinate or slack anymore. Cheating was not even in the picture, because College Professors were so serious about the consequences of cheating that it would result in instant removal from a class and the campus- and I did not want that. (Imagine the horror of having to explain to people that the reason you're not a college student is because you were caught cheating!! I couldn't do it.) If I procrastinated a school subject or assignment, it wasn't like High School, where I could fail and just take it over- it was a waste of time and money. I was paying to be there, paying for the lectures and all my BOOKS and paying my way into the future, and it all depended on my own discipline and priorities. No one was there to tell me when to study, or when my assignments are due and when I should be in class- there wasn't even a BELL to exclaim CLASS IS OVER! MOVE ON, EVERYONE!! The students just walk out when the clock reaches a certain time. I admit it, some classes I look back on and think they're absolutely useless, but I've never felt more of an urge to be a better person and to learn and to grow than I have found within the borders of a college campus.
I have a tutor now who helps me with my classes- the hard work, and what I really appreciate and respect is the fact that he believes in me. He's SUPER-strict, I must say, and he doesn't take NO or I DIDN'T HAVE TIME or LATER for an answer. He's super serious but works hard to ensure that I teach myself how to understand things and how to use the resources that i have now if I don't understand something. Ever since I've had him as a tutor, EVERY test I've taken , I have passed with an A. My classes are getting easier because I go to them more prepared. My grades are getting better, and this semester, I plan on getting straight As. I was not looking to be a GREAT student, just a good one. I will never fail another class- its something I said to myself (sadly, only a year ago). I hated the fact that I had to take a course over if I did not pass it, and it will take me a little longer to graduate because I goofed off during my first 2 years of college because I had no plan. But now I have a plan. I have learned to learn. I am working now on correcting my life so I don't end up like one of those "kids with no life and no promise of a bright future." I am currently a Senior at California State University of San Bernardino, working on getting a BA in Communications and a Minor in Child Psychology. I may go on to get a Master's degree in Child Psychology, because I really LOVVVVVE children and working with them and I am very understanding of them and how they thing because not long ago, I was there. I wish everyone who reads this to be inspired and to wish me luck as I pursue the career of my dreams, and until then, I cannot write more- my tutor's gonna be here in an hour. I can't talk to loud- I'm in a Library, doing homework. So I'll end at this- after all, I'VE GOT SOME MORE STUDYING TO DO!!!
