To The ONE... my thoughts...

Me and my little sister, Cheyanne. We were riding a rocking horse together. =)

So I guess I only have one follower... Kinda sad.. I just went to the gym today after not going for a few months and I am here to tell EVERYONE that just cuz you're thin it does NOT mean you don't need to exercise.

It was so nice walking to the gym- its about 15 minutes away from my house. I walked through my quiet street in Old Town, Pasadena where birds were chirping and children were playing in front of their houses and the sun was shining with all its glory. Squirrels seemed to skip around in the trees and I was protected from the sun by the oak trees that cover nearly all of my street. Leaves fell from the trees that made the entire scene seem magical. The air was fresh and cool at 11am and I remember contemplating as I was walking all the things that have been running through my mind lately... college homework that needs to be done, boys, what I was going to do tonight, how many people had asked me for a favor today that I've came through with,etc., and as I saw a mother walking down the street pushing a stroller and 3 small children following behind her, it made me contemplate my own near future and how I would spend my life and the activities I would engage in as a mother.

Its almost hard to think of ever being a mother when I haven't had many examples of a mother in my own life. I grew up in multiple homes in foster care from ages 11-17 after my own mother ran away due to my violent alcoholic father and his aggression. I think of how I've lived with several foster mothers and how they all had different ways of parenting. One thing about me is that I learn from OTHER'S mistakes and I choose not to follow bad examples. I think of all the things that hurt me growing up and all the things I disagreed with and did not like as a child and I tell myself that my own children will NEVER have to suffer those kind of things that I've been through. No child ever should.

Parental love should never be sought by a child at all. It should be given freely and always. It should not only come on the weekends, or when a paycheck from the foster agency comes in the mail. I want to give my future children everything I didn't have growing up. Not saying that by any means I'll spoil them rotten, or let them become snobby and ungrateful, but I have in mind ways of teaching them so that they will be grateful for what they have. I once read this quote that said "Happy is the [wo]man whose kids run into his[her] arms when his[her] hands are empty." I'm not sure who said it or where its from but it made me think of how I want to give my children everything they need physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to be a major part of their lives and I want to always be there for them. I think of the righteous example I want to set for my children in the future and I have a really good feeling about it. =)

I know this has like, nothing to do with ANYTHING, but it was just running through my mind and I wanted to post it. Maybe one person will see this- maybe 10 or 100. It doesn't matter to me really- I mainly wanted this blog to express myself and its kinda fun. =D