Sooooooooo I bought my Wedding dress, took engagement pics and the invites are going out in the mail today.. Good news, right?
Actually it seems like this last month has been the HARDEST time of my LIFE. I always wonder how opposition prevails whenever something good is to come... Lemme tell you what this poor girl has been going through!
I think the adversary is pretty smart. I think he knew that I had plans to marry in the Temple to a wonderful man and that this would be a "Happily Ever After" for us. He knew that I would someday have a Forever Family and that my goals in life are to bless the lives of others. He knew that as soon as I came back to California, I would start making plans for this Amazing yet "hypothetical future" I always talked about with Sean since before we were even engaged. Sooooo here's what happened:
I originally planned on living in Utah until the end of September because that's when CSUSB started back up. Unfortunate circumstances happened though- my Great Grandmother came up with an intense illness from a surgery in which sepsis had kicked in and she only had 7 days to live so I had to come to California to be there for her in her last days. I decided to go ahead and take all my stuff with me because Karri wanted to go home also.
Soooo I moved to California.
I then attempted to get re-established and re-acquainted with the Sunshine State. I registered for classes and then started looking for a job. I filled out TONS of forms and applications and went to TONS of interviews and auditions in hopes to find a job but no luck whatsoever. The odd thing was, there was not one interview I went to where the employers weren't AMAZED by my interviewing skills and experience. ...I just never heard back from any of them after that though.. I would call them to inquire of my application status and they would say the position had been filled already..and I'd go to the places where I applied and see all these teenagers working there with pink spiky hair and tattoo's down their arms, text-messaging at work in the exact position I applied for........ I don't wanna compare myself to anyone but this just didn't seem right.. :(
Second, I had a MAJOR computer crash where I lost all the important files that I had that were vital for graduation, even after I supposedly had all my files backed up. I finally got my computer to turn back on and tried restoring all my lost programs (never could get my files back) and found out that I had been a victim or FRAUD and that the company who claimed to be Microsoft was a total scam and they hacked my bank account twice. I tried explaining this all to many Professors at my college and they said that unless I had those documents (which were lost), I could not complete my Senior Project and therefore could not graduate from CSUSB. It was heart-wrenching thinking of this after all those years I've attended this school (6 years now) there was no way I could graduate from it unless I changed my major and stayed there for another 3 years.. :(
Third, I was in the middle of driving to school one day and my car totally DIED ON ME in the middle of the road. It was POURING rain outside and my car would not start back up at all and I had to have it towed home. I later found out that a timing belt broke and caused MAJOR engine damage and that it was deemed "unrepairable" because of how much it would cost to fix. So I had to get rid of my baby!!! :(
Fourth, I felt like my wedding plans were starting to fall apart bit by bit and I had the hardest time trying to plan everything because I felt like I was doing it all on my own; I felt as if I had no support from my Twin sister who I'm the closest to and needed MOST, and not too many people could take me seriously when I vented to them.. I felt really alone in all of this. :(
There were many small things that happened also that I'm too embarrassed to blog about but those were the major things.... And after lots of tears and hours of prayers and straining for patience to cope with this all, I finally gave up.
*I gave up on focusing on the bad things, that is. I changed my outlook and started counting my Blessings and through it, I learned that the adversary isn't all that smart.. =/
The one person who mattered the most to me was still in love with me. :)
Even though Sean lives almost 1,000 miles away, he is faithful and caring and supportive and always encouraging me to stay positive. I feel like he stood by me the entire way, even from far far away. We talk every night and read Scriptures together and he prays for me and is concerned for my happiness and well-being and he willingly expresses it EVERY DAY. I love how Sean is always telling me how much he loves me and how much better I am than I think I am. :)
On another positive note, my Great Grandmother mysteriously overcame her illness and is in total healthy condition and she was even released from the hospital to go home!! :)
Another blessing is that my car sold for more (dead) than it was appraised for when it was alive and I still have NO IDEA how that happened.. :)
Another blessing is that Sean's Mom just so happens to be an "Acceptance Counselor" at BYU (which is the very first school I wanted to go to but didn't get accepted) and she says she can get me accepted into BYU so I can go to school with Sean as soon as next Winter!! :D
Another blessing is that my family also stood by me the whole way, especially my Parents. I'm really grateful for the Lauritzens and their parental love and support and their willingness to be a part of my life. When our wedding invitations didn't turn out as good as we hoped, my Mom helped me to create our own wedding announcements and they turned out Super cute and that's what most of you Followers will be receiving in the mail in the next few days! ;)
Another blessing is that for the longest time, I've always wanted a Fairy Tale wedding theme and I complained so much because planning for it wasn't in my budget and Heavenly Father (the King) reminded me that I'm getting married in one of His castles (the Temple) to a Prince (Sean) for time and all eternity. How much more Fairy-tale can it get?? :)
Followers, sometimes we encounter hardships and we kick and scream and complain about how bad they are and in the moment it's soooooo hard to see how certain experiences are supposed to be "for our own good." We wonder where God is and why He's not answering our prayers and why it seems that things keep getting worse and worse. I did. But I'm here to tell everyone that even though I am STILL going through these trials and they haven't all ended yet (and I'm sure there are more to come), it's very important that we don't lose sight of what's important. What is most important to me right now is that I marry in the Temple worthily, that I have a good relationship with my Family and my Heavenly Father, and that I stay grateful for all of the blessings I am experiencing along the way, whether great or small.
***ALWAYS keep your head up, your eyes towards Heaven, and your heart open to those who love you, and then you will claim you never knew unhappiness.***
