5 months into the whole "twin separation thing" aaaaand...

OK so here it is.. a sort of self-review. Everyone wants to know what it's like to grow up with an IDENTICAL TWIN your whole life, always being together, always having the same EVERYTHING including looks, personalities, opinions, likes/dislikes, etc. and then spontaneously SEPARATING for the very first time ever--

..I really admire those parents who teach their Twins how to be individuals at an early age.

..I really admire those friends who treat Twins each as a unique person and never make them feel too much like a unit or a couple or pair because it would have been SO MUCH EASIER TO GO THROUGH THIS if I had even a tiny bit of experience being an individual before..

..I really admire those Twins who remain strong even during hard times in their lives, such as their Twin being sick, one getting married, themselves being separated for the first time, their huge leap into different lives, etc.

I have a nice life with or without my Twin being a part of the picture- it's not like I'm suffering any material losses here.. honestly, many people admire me as an individual and many admire me as a Twin and the things WE do together that make a difference or set an example in their lives. LOL some people have even said that they are envious of our lives and that they wish they could live a day in the life of me or my Twin.. =/

So yeah, I would say I pretty much have it good. I'm an actress and a model, I go to college that is completely paid for, I have kind and wonderful loving parents who support me and all the things I do, I have good friends, I'm not in any kind of debt, trouble or psysical pain, and I pretty much have all the materialistic things I've ever wanted. My Twin sister has the same things if not more than me in all these.

Yet, as we live in completely different states and are almost 1,000 miles away from each other in distance, even having everything we've ever wanted is Sooooo not enough!! We both realize that we actively chose this for ourselves- its something we wanted- we thought..

It's hard for me to even say "me" or "I" anymore when I write or talk to others without referencing my Twin sister Karri. I miss her a LOT. I miss having someone here who shares the same opinions, I.Q., and sense of humor as me.. I miss having someone to laugh at my jokes; someone I can share clothes and food with and I miss all the attention we got whenever we went out together- we always had TWICE as much attention as everyone else, we made twice as much money when we worked together, we ate twice as much food as everyone at social outings.. and no matter what we wore, everyone thought it was so cool that 2 PEOPLE had it, so we were known as trend setters all throughout high school.. like DoubleMint Gum always said- "Double the pleasure, Double the fun." It was definitely like that for us.

I remember how one day, after 20 years of not sharing clothes with each other, we just decided one day to go "cold turkey" and share everything we owned (didn't always work out but it was super fun). Karri would sometimes come home from work and bring dinner for me, or surprise me after a shopping trip and say, "Here, I bought this for you." I remember we used to go to dances and auditions and jobs together and NEVER FAILED TO IMPRESS everyone there. It's so much fun having a replica of yourself!! (I still don't understand how or why some other sets of Twins ever argue or fight.. it's totally unnecessary!)

I was born with a Best Friend, and sometimes its hard not to think of how selfish it was of me to think that I needed "My Own Life" or to be one of those "Individuals." I now realize how unique, but absolutely BORING it would have been growing up without a Twin!

I go to new classes in school and to different wards in Church and now I know what it's like NOT to know anyone. I'm so used to having my Twin with me that I didn't realize how scary it was to ever be by myself!! I always wonder how other Twins got through this phase in their lives?? When they had to face reality and separate one day.. yikes its hard!

I'm not a total wreck. Thanks to the latest forms of technology and transportation, I can communicate with my Twin and go visit her when I have a break from school and work. I'm really grateful for this opportunity I've had to explore life as an individual and I know that I have a LOT to learn about myself that I have not learned already. I'm learning interpersonal communication skills at a fast rate and I'm learning how to not always depend on my clone for guidance, support, dates with guys that I don't like, or tests that I can't take. =P

Its been quite the roller coaster here in Utah but I always know that, no matter how scary the ride is, I am strong enough to:

-Not get sick

-Laugh at the terrified face I was making as the ride took my picture

-Look back and say, "That was fun! I think I'll do it again!"

..and happily press forward. :)

Take care followers! If you can, send me some advice on the "Comments" section below! If it doesn't appear, then respond via email or on my actual blog at www.icorri.blogspot.com. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

The World Would Be a MUCH Better Place If Everyone Thought Like Me...

I'm sure we all say that to ourselves.. We think that we're doing things the right way and everyone else is off or wrong.. But I actually believe it.

Utah is a great place.. There are nice people here, fun things to do, many places to visit, etc. etc. Yet its sooooo possible to feel like a complete failure at times, even people who Everyone knows, or people who seem to have it all..

In a place full of people, it seems like one could never feel alone. In a city full of events, venues, parties, Church activities, and get-togethers, it seems like one could never feel bored. In a school full of over-acheiving students it seems like one could never feel disadvantaged or inefficient in their work.





..that's the problem out here though. It seems to me like everyone out here assumes that everything is fine. That everyone is taken care of and that no one needs a little extra assurance or advice at times.

Everyone who knows me knows that I'm not selfish. I don't get angry easily and I never hold a grudge. I'm kind, caring, and do my best to ensure that EVERYONE around me is taken care of, even if it involves giving rides, food, money, advice, being a friend, etc. which I go out of my way each day to do. I can't let myself pass someone up who stands alone in a crowded room and I won't allow myself to ever be too good for anyone. That's just not me.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," is a quote that I've heard many times throughout my life. I think that quote is unfair in many ways and I don't see it as 2-way function. There are so many nice people in this world who are taken advantage of, used, tormented and taken for granted. People take, take and take from them until they have nothing left to give- they absorb everything they have and leave them there to rot. I've had so many friends who have told me that they feel this way and its always hard for me to advise them because sometimes I feel this way too. I can't see the point of being altruistic because in all reality, good things don't always return to the good person.





So what do I do??





Face the reality that I'm in. Its hard to do good things ALL THE TIME and not get recognized for it. I'm sure many people feel that way. I know my Mom (Donna Lauritzen) is a great example of one who can do this and happily press forward, ungrudgingly. I admire her and the many things she does that go unnoticed. She never complains- like, at all! Maybe this is good practice for me for when I am a parent and will be doing a lot of work to keep my future family together. I can use these "skills" that I have developed to help my kids and husband and friends out and maybe possibly hopefully teach others to do the same.

Yes I guess it's normal to feel alone at times, but after an hour of sitting outside of the Salt Lake Temple in 28 degree weather without a jacket as many people passed me up and didn't even look at me, I learned that Heavenly Father sees us all. I know that he is aware of me at this time and I didn't feel cold or upset anymore. I felt as if my Father was talking to me- like He was telling me, "Hang in there, Corri, everything is gonna be fine. My timing is different than your timing. Be patient, my daughter, I see you. There's no reason to feel under-appreciated or alone; I am here with you. If they don't thank you for your kindness, I DO. Thank you for being good and kind and setting a good example for my other children. Not now, but in a little while, you shall see the fruits of your efforts."



It took me a while to understand this, but now I see it more clearly. Now I get it.

So there you all have it, readers- no matter where you are or what you do or how you feel others think, you're Always exceptional. People may not recognize you or what you do, but someone notices. Maybe you are admired from a distance. Everyone has a little good in them. The world may Actually Truly be a better place now because YOU are in it, and many people are good or better people because they follow your examples of doing good works. Never think that you are alone or unnapreciated!! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." Take care everyone. :)