blOggety blOgg... fRienDs

Today was wonderfullllllllll! I had a great Sabbath day and now am trying to get over this awesome sense of hyperactivity that I have after eating 2 rather large slices of cake. LOL it was sooooooooooo good! Yellow cake with chocolate frosting on it. I decided that today I would call a couple of old friends who I haven't talked to in a while and I noticed tha I really had been missing from their lives and I seem to have forgotten all my old friends! I love all of my friends and have so many that it is hard to keep track of all of them. I sometimes forget and end up hanging around the same people often and it ends up being a clique. I don't do cliques though. I really need to check myself every once in a while and make sure I'm not becoming prideful. I started off hanging out with amazing people, then I moved, but that should not stop me from keeping in contact with them. Every person in my life has influenced me to be a better person, even if I didn't get along with them.

Sometimes there's someone who I won't talk to because I think we won't get along or that they don't like me or that they're snobbish or stuck up- when I realize that they may be thinking the same thing about me!! I end up talking to them and creating an everlasting friendship that lasts for a long time. I love making friends! Its always wierd when I first become someone's friend and don't know what to say or how to start a conversation but it usually ends up going well. So remember kids, MAKE FRIENDS!!!! They are eternal. In some cases, they may be all you have. Remember old friends, AND always make new friends. I've never been a loner since. =P

Life is great!

10 Things I am Grateful For....

I think it's time I wrote anotha BLOG!!! Just in case someone decides to follow me! Wow it's a kind of a big deal for me... The pressure's already kickin' in... MUST WRITE SOMETHING POSITIVE YET FUNNY AND READABLE!!! Ok...Here I go....


THANKSGIVING.

I like giving, I am thankful for what I have. One thing about me is that I don't talk a lot about everything I have and am grateful for too much... When you're stressed all you think about is what you don't have. It makes one completely overlook all of their blessings! I AM SOOOOOO BLESSED and I MUST tell the whole wide world what I am grateful for!!!

1) My Family- I don't live WITH my family- as a matter of fact, I haven't lived with them for about 10 years now! I was one of those kids who suffered from a parental divorce and had to grow up in numerous foster homes, separated from all but one out of 9 siblings. It was sooooooooooo hard, but I survived it. I made it out alive and I have a few scars but I'm okay. =) I don't get to talk to most of my family members and I don't get to see many of them at all now because of their geographical locations and our crazy hectic schedules, but I LOVE ALL OF THEM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH and I always think about them and I always pray for them and I'm trying my best to be a good example for all of them.

2) My friends- Every person I know is my friend. Every friend is a BEST friend to me. I like to get to know each person on a one-on-one basis. I never hang out with just one crowd or clique, and I always make sure that no one stands alone. I like to find someone who's standing on their own, introduce myself to them and ten introduce the to other people. This may sound silly and simple, but people have formed lifelong relationships and friendships simply by my selflessness. I'm NEVER too good to hang out with the uncool person; I'm never too cool to hang out with just popular people. I am a fabulous matchmaker and have put together some amazingly cute couples, and many have gotten married from it! Selflessness means everything to me, no matter how uncool it seems. =) I love my friends. I may not always get what I give, but my life's motive has always been to "be the friend you've always wanted" and "be the change you want to see in the world." Who knows? I may have caused others to do the same thing... I may not have. As long as I'm doing my part and being kind and friendly and welcoming to all, I know I'm doing the right thing.

3) My Job- It's amazing. I am a receptionist at a Chiropractor's office. Brother Mortensen from my Church, formally known as Dr. Mortensen, is an amazing leader to me. He's an amazing boss and his wife is the sweetest lady ever!!!! I love them so much and I admire them and I really am grateful for them in my life. I love all my patients, and I know almost all of them by name. They are all so nice to me and I'm able to associate with all of them on personal levels. I'm grateful that my good works and accomplishments do not go unnoticed at work, and I like being able to ask the doctor for health advice, Church advice, career advice, advice about boys, etc. It's great.

4) My car- I'm grateful to have it. It's nice and cute and has leopard-spotted interior. =) Any girl's dream car. This was made for me.

5) My pink cell phone- self explanatory. I'm a girl and I like pink and I like to talk and text. Is that fair enough? =)

6) My Scriptures- My treasure chest that I can take with me wherever I go... I can open them up and read my destiny and find even hidden treasures in them!! They are my road map, my tour guide for life, my comfort when I'm sad, my joy when I'm happy. They protect me from sin and temptation and they bring me closer to God. They will lead me Home someday if I follow it's advice.

7) My God- I love my Heavenly Father SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!! He has placed so many anchors in my life to stop me from going the wrong way... He has blessed me with literally all that I need to survive. There's literally NO WAY POSSIBLE that I could have gone through SO MUCH hardships and trials in life from a child to an adult without Heavenly Help. My Father loves me and I am proud to say that I a His daughter. I look forward to going Home someday to the family that I've tried so hard to search for in real life and never feeling like an orphan again. I know that good things await me after this life, so for now I'm taking advantage of life and having a blast celebrating all the Blessings I have and sharing as much as I can with others. I know that my Father in Heaven is the creator of the Universe, and he has made worlds without number, gazillions of people, yet he knows me by name, cares about me, is aware of me, and knows what is best for me. He loves me and wants me to be happy- and He provides me with all I need AND MORE. =D!!!!

8) The Gospel- It's true. That's all I can say. I promise. This Gospel has brought me more happiness than any other church I've ever been to. The world may hate Mormons, may think our doctrine is incorrect, may do all they can to rage against us, but we all know it's true. We've all developed Testimonies about it and we have all received answers to our prayers when we inquired to know of its truthfulness. It just is. Miracles ARE REAL. God is real. This Gospel is true.

9) My college- I absolutely hate school- I confess. I don't like the whole "getting up early" thing...I'm a huge procrastinator and I'm really bad at making deadlines. But I love the fact that my school is paid for and the fact that I get to discipline myself t learn and to think more critically and to expand my knowledge and grow in wisdom. It's a major blessing for me and I love it.

10) My trials- This may be kind of weird, but I a grateful for every trial I've ever been through. I am still alive today, which means I did something right. I survived them. I got through them. I am living proof that it IS possible to overcome trials in life. I want the world to know that no matter how much pain you feel, no matter how stressed you are or how hard life seems, it's just a small moment compared to our long lives. In a moment it is all gone and you're standing there, a new person, ready to take on something much larger. Overcoming trials are hard in the process, but once it's done, the reward is great. Even if there's not an outcome, YOU are the benefit. Someone else may be blessed by your efforts. It's just, amazing how we can, in all reality, accomplish ANYTHING we want. Believe in yourself and Believe in God. That's my advice to everyone. These things make us who we are today, and whether we want to be happy and live with a positive attitude towards life or an old grump, it's all up to us.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!!!!!!! =D

Here's a Poem I wrote Once Upon a Long Time Ago... Couldda been recently...

ONE THING ABOUT ME- I LOVE POETRY. I write it all the time. For almost everything that's ever happened to me in my life, there's a poem about it that I've written. I write as a way to express my feelings. My heart and soul goes into each poem and it leaves me silent...normal...without feelings most of the time. People wonder why I don't cry or show much emotion- why I just get silent and never angry or upset.. This is why- I write down how I feel then the emotion has no need to be displayed and no one ever gets hurt by it. It's literally gone and I feel better. That's why I'm always happy- that's all I know how to be really.



For a little hint of what I like to write, here's one below. I originally wrote this for a guy I used to date. Things didn't end up working out and I had a really hard time getting over it at first, until I completley avoided him altogether. It's hard getting through a break-up. It seems as if all is going well and the only thing that seems to be "going" is the guy. You can't stop thinking of them...They're always on your mind... You wonder if they're having a hard time also or out celebrating their new freedom as fast as they can.. So enjoy! I'll be posting a few more in the near future.





Its cold outside but I'm out here
On my own, just thinking of you
Looking up at the stars in the sky
Wondering if you're looking at them too

It's kind of late, and as I drift off to sleep
I'm looking forward to dreaming of you
I dream that we're together once more
I wonder if you're dreaming of me too

As I go throughout the next day
I constantly have you on my mind
I wonder if you ever stop to think of me
Do I ever even cross your mind?

It's sad that even though we have separated
I still can't get you off of my mind
I still reminisce those few times we were together
How happy I was once upon a time

I often wonder to myself, what went wrong?
Did I ever hurt you, or tell you a lie?
Why aren't you willing to go far for someone
who is worthy of you? Why not try?

Maybe it’s the distance between you and me
That separates us- "geographically"
Then again, it could be the fact
That you're far from me "emotionally"

If that was the case, why didn't you say so?
Why were you just avoiding me?
Why don't you ever call anymore?
Have you forgotten me?

And so here I am, still thinking about you
Hope you're doing the same, as hard as it seems
Even if we never meet again, I can say
At least I'll see you once more in my dreams.




If you wanna go on a scavenger hunt, you can google my name and find lots of poems I've written. Many are from a troubled youth growing up in foster care wondering where her parents are... many are from relationships, life, Religious poems, etc. Enjoy! Lemme know what you think. Feedback is ESSENTIAL for bloging! If anyone really is reading this......

Why am I so Nice??

I LOVE PEOPLE. I wanna start off by saying that. People literally make my world go around. I have many many many friends. I treasure them all. I like talking to them, relating to them, making them laugh, doing good works for them, smiling, helping people out, etc. etc. ...basically, everything to make others happy. It's fun for me and it helps me to feel accomplished each day, knowing that I've made someone else's day.

There is one thing that I'm really bad at. Well, it's a good thing, and it's good for others, and it helps out others, but it's something that I like to do so much that sometimes it ends up being bad for me- I mean, like, helping everyone and hurting me. I love helping others out. I give rides to people, I offer advice, I am a matchmaker for MANY people, even if its someone I really like... I buy groceries for friends when they're struggling, I comfort those who stand in need of comfort, etc. Things like that are a very small portion of what makes me great, accrding to friends. I have a lot of love to give. I'm passionate about service. That's never a problem. I do it all the time tho, which is still not a problem, but I've developed a really good but bad habit of not knowing when to say "no."

Lemme explain this a bit. I'm the kind of person who helps others even when its inconvenient for me. If I'm in a room full of people and have some type of food and I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY, maybe even deathly hungry, I will not eat it unless I've offered everyone in the room some of it and everyone either takes some or rejects it. I get a really bad guilty conscience if I don't share ANYTHING. Its not the food or my hunger that matters at that point. It makes me full to know that everyone else's needs are taken care of before my own. Even if there's one crumb left I'll be satisfied knowing that I've shared.

Where my problem comes in is that I sometimes let people take advantage of me. I first offer a favor a few times, then the person starts asking for the favor as a habit, then it gradually gets to a point where they're literally depending on me and when I cannot provide them that favor, I lose a friend or they get upset and I feel like I've let them down and I'm the villian all of a sudden. It's wierd... I don't know how to react to that because my biggest weakspot is seeing others hurting or crying or sad about something, and knowing that I cannot help someone out makes me feel awful.

I think this is more something that I have to learn on my own. It's like, being Christ-like and selfless and all other good attributes but sometimes I have to back down and tell myself that I'm not Christ. I'm striving to be perfect but maybe I have the wrong idea of what perfection is... Anything less than my best efforts seem like a failure to me. My therapist says that its okay to be selfish sometimes- to help myself before others... but I'm having a really hard tie trying to grasp that idea. Wierddddd..... Someone leave an anonymous comment already!!! This time I need advice.