5 months into the whole "twin separation thing" aaaaand...

OK so here it is.. a sort of self-review. Everyone wants to know what it's like to grow up with an IDENTICAL TWIN your whole life, always being together, always having the same EVERYTHING including looks, personalities, opinions, likes/dislikes, etc. and then spontaneously SEPARATING for the very first time ever--

..I really admire those parents who teach their Twins how to be individuals at an early age.

..I really admire those friends who treat Twins each as a unique person and never make them feel too much like a unit or a couple or pair because it would have been SO MUCH EASIER TO GO THROUGH THIS if I had even a tiny bit of experience being an individual before..

..I really admire those Twins who remain strong even during hard times in their lives, such as their Twin being sick, one getting married, themselves being separated for the first time, their huge leap into different lives, etc.

I have a nice life with or without my Twin being a part of the picture- it's not like I'm suffering any material losses here.. honestly, many people admire me as an individual and many admire me as a Twin and the things WE do together that make a difference or set an example in their lives. LOL some people have even said that they are envious of our lives and that they wish they could live a day in the life of me or my Twin.. =/

So yeah, I would say I pretty much have it good. I'm an actress and a model, I go to college that is completely paid for, I have kind and wonderful loving parents who support me and all the things I do, I have good friends, I'm not in any kind of debt, trouble or psysical pain, and I pretty much have all the materialistic things I've ever wanted. My Twin sister has the same things if not more than me in all these.

Yet, as we live in completely different states and are almost 1,000 miles away from each other in distance, even having everything we've ever wanted is Sooooo not enough!! We both realize that we actively chose this for ourselves- its something we wanted- we thought..

It's hard for me to even say "me" or "I" anymore when I write or talk to others without referencing my Twin sister Karri. I miss her a LOT. I miss having someone here who shares the same opinions, I.Q., and sense of humor as me.. I miss having someone to laugh at my jokes; someone I can share clothes and food with and I miss all the attention we got whenever we went out together- we always had TWICE as much attention as everyone else, we made twice as much money when we worked together, we ate twice as much food as everyone at social outings.. and no matter what we wore, everyone thought it was so cool that 2 PEOPLE had it, so we were known as trend setters all throughout high school.. like DoubleMint Gum always said- "Double the pleasure, Double the fun." It was definitely like that for us.

I remember how one day, after 20 years of not sharing clothes with each other, we just decided one day to go "cold turkey" and share everything we owned (didn't always work out but it was super fun). Karri would sometimes come home from work and bring dinner for me, or surprise me after a shopping trip and say, "Here, I bought this for you." I remember we used to go to dances and auditions and jobs together and NEVER FAILED TO IMPRESS everyone there. It's so much fun having a replica of yourself!! (I still don't understand how or why some other sets of Twins ever argue or fight.. it's totally unnecessary!)

I was born with a Best Friend, and sometimes its hard not to think of how selfish it was of me to think that I needed "My Own Life" or to be one of those "Individuals." I now realize how unique, but absolutely BORING it would have been growing up without a Twin!

I go to new classes in school and to different wards in Church and now I know what it's like NOT to know anyone. I'm so used to having my Twin with me that I didn't realize how scary it was to ever be by myself!! I always wonder how other Twins got through this phase in their lives?? When they had to face reality and separate one day.. yikes its hard!

I'm not a total wreck. Thanks to the latest forms of technology and transportation, I can communicate with my Twin and go visit her when I have a break from school and work. I'm really grateful for this opportunity I've had to explore life as an individual and I know that I have a LOT to learn about myself that I have not learned already. I'm learning interpersonal communication skills at a fast rate and I'm learning how to not always depend on my clone for guidance, support, dates with guys that I don't like, or tests that I can't take. =P

Its been quite the roller coaster here in Utah but I always know that, no matter how scary the ride is, I am strong enough to:

-Not get sick

-Laugh at the terrified face I was making as the ride took my picture

-Look back and say, "That was fun! I think I'll do it again!"

..and happily press forward. :)

Take care followers! If you can, send me some advice on the "Comments" section below! If it doesn't appear, then respond via email or on my actual blog at www.icorri.blogspot.com. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!